To all the mothers-to-be…

I don’t just mean the pregnant ones. I mean the ones who have been trying to conceive for months, maybe years.

Who aren’t sure when they’ll ever be mothers but have gone through countless cycles of trying to conceive. IUI. IVF. Disappointment month after month.

The ones who live their lives in two week periods. The two weeks waiting for ovulation and then the two weeks waiting to test. And then the ultimate disappointment. Month after month after month. Until you start to feel like maybe no baby wants to be yours at all. And maybe you’re not allowed to be a mother for some reason.

I can tell you now, as a mother, it’s true there is no harder (and more rewarding job). But when you want desperately to be a mom and you can’t be… well that’s pretty much the worst thing ever. And Mother’s Day can feel to those suffering from infertility a little like Valentine’s Day can feel to the single folks out there. Except hating Valentine’s Day is socially acceptable. You aren’t allowed to hate Mother’s Day.

So anyway, to all you mothers out there – Happy Mother’s Day! What you do every day is incredible and hard and worth celebrating! But to you women out there who would give anything to be a mother, who feel a bit of resentment on Mother’s Day but aren’t allowed to express that… I get it. I was there. It’s awful. I just want to send out a little Mother’s Day wish to you too…

Because there is a beauty and a strength in loving your unborn baby to be so much that you endure months and years of emotional torture in hopes of one day meeting that baby who will be so blessed to call you mama.

Because it’s hard being a mommy to a newborn or a toddler or a teenager. But it’s also hard being a mother to a child who has yet to show up and who you aren’t even sure will ever join you at all.

Because keeping that faith, that hope, alive. It’s hard. It takes a courage and resolve that not all mothers will have. And even though it completely sucks – it is a journey that leads to being a mother, through one avenue or another, eventually.

To those of you who can’t take one more ultrasound picture in your Facebook feed… who can’t stomach another baby shower invite… who doesn’t care to hear daily updates on adventures in potty training… I want to celebrate you. In all your beauty and selflessness.

You are already a mother. Your baby is just running late.


  • Carrie Ching Yuan - omg? you too, my friend?! so well-written. i was there too. soooo hard. sending a big hug to the moms-to-be out there! ReplyCancel

  • Brianna Wallace - Love this!ReplyCancel

  • Agata Cicha - I should print it and read it every moment Natus is driving me insane to remember how lucky I’m to be a mother. Thank you! I needed it. So beautifully written. And if you ever decide to write a book, any book, I’ll be the first one to buy it. ReplyCancel

  • Mickie Alderink DeVries - Beautiful!ReplyCancel

  • Nicole Johnson - Word.ReplyCancel

  • Chantell Sim - So beautifully written, thank you! My journey to becoming a mommy was so long and so hard…. I get so sad when I think of those still trying.ReplyCancel

  • Andrea - Thank you for writing this. I agree. I have not (yet…) had trouble conceiving a child, but have lost an infant child, and the feelings of despair, and jealously (oh the wicked emotion) on thus day those years with out her were indescribable. Even now as I have a toddler to hold, to call me momma everyday, thus day brings twinges of pain at the loss of my sweet girl, the first one to make me a momma.ReplyCancel

  • LaShawn - This is a wonderful post. I remember those days of yearning, waiting, hoping and hating Mother’s Day. I love the last line in the post” You are already a mother. Your Baby is just running late.” Perfect. Because that’s just what it was. Happy Mother’s DayReplyCancel

  • Melanie - So beautiful!ReplyCancel

  • Rheanna Francesconi Brough - Thank you for this!!!! This is the hardest and most heartbreaking thing I have ever gone through;(ReplyCancel