I’m not that good at writing sentences when I’m tired. They run on and don’t make sense and my blog is fancy and has the option of bullet points so I’m gonna try a nice bulleted list. YAY!

  • I love making lists. I make grocery lists, to-do lists, Christmas gift lists, lists of goals. I never actually look at the lists again after they’re made. 
  • I am pretty sure my Diet Coke is giving me Parkinson’s Disease or Rheumatoid Arthritis. Because I shake and my bones hurt and I’ve determined that is all it could be. But I just can’t stop.
  • I buy fancy vitamins and take one pill and then never take another one ever again. My kitchen and bathroom cabinets and closet shelves are filled with vitamins and supplements. I guess I keep forgetting they taste like chalk and smell like pee.
  • I am scared of my daughter a little bit.
  • I used to be incredibly obsessed with flossing and brushing my teeth. Now I only floss at stop lights if I don’t have any FB notifications. I might not brush my teeth every night. I said might.
  • I don’t love breastfeeding. Sometimes I do. But it feels a little helpless at times and I’m not one of these “look at the beautiful gift I’m providing my child” types. I guess a year from now I’ll be glad I did. Either that or I’ll have to wear turtlenecks year round in Florida. There are things the Le Leche League doesn’t tell you. They pretend like you will decide how long to nurse. They suggest that making it to a year of breastfeeding makes you some kind of superwoman. Going two years? You’re practically a goddess. They pretend like you have any choice. You don’t. The baby decides. And quitting is basically impossible. So if you somehow feel bad that you couldn’t breastfeed for whatever reason, don’t .
  • I love buying school supplies even though I’m not in school. I feel the need to buy post it notes and highlighters I will probably never use.
  • I don’t feel like babies need to be bathed everyday. I just don’t. I mean, I don’t even bathe everyday and I have to go out in public and talk to people and be judged.
  • I get extremely stressed out about how to organize things. I never actually organize anything.
  • I have phantom leg pains that I believe are baby varicose veins fighting to break to the surface. When I feel pains in my legs I am scared to look. I don’t look at my legs ever. I’m scared I’ll see a new vein. I have issues. Major.
  • I sometimes wonder if I know less than any other pharmacist in the world. I get nervous when I see the word “trough”. I am scared everyone else remembers everything they learned in school and I’m just sitting with my phone and expired Epocrates app and faking it.
  • I hate getting my haircut. I dread the small talk.
  • I don’t like wine. I’ve tried really hard to like it. I think wine is like the cool thing for 30 somethings to love. There are lots of memes about wine and somecards about wine and I feel very left out because all I want to do is replace “wine” with Diet Coke or “Venti Espresso on Ice”.
  • It makes me incredibly sad that I will never be able to have a conversation with my dogs. It kind of bothers me. A lot. Like there is so much they need to say and I’ll never understand. Sometimes I feel so much love for them it’s like they’re my real children too…
  • I used to pretend I was a mermaid when I went swimmng as a kid. I still kinda do that. 🙂

Now go check out my fellow pharmacist Amber’s Confessions… then go to my fellow photographer Maria’s blog and pressure her to write a Confessions post. 🙂

  • Amber Michele Shankland - Le Leche League! Oh god I’m having flashbacks! People don’t really like wine… I don’t think. And you left out the #’s so now I gotta do it because I promised!!! We should write a weekly confessions blog! But that might get to overwhelming for everyone.ReplyCancel

  • Maria Gernert Conover - I love wine. Fact.ReplyCancel

  • Jessica McNeil - #1- list making- must be a Jessica thing…I too love making lists and rarely use them. I find them everywhere (mostly to-do lists) never completed. I feel that this is completely normal, possibly even ok. #2- it is ok not to love breastfeeding. And yes, especially if you breastfeed more than one child, you will need better genetics than me, a turtleneck year round, or a boob job. Also, ok. #3- I believe that every pharmacist feels inferior to every other pharmacist they know or work with in some given area (unless they have a God complex that cannot be resolved). #4- school supplies are addicting and I will potentially need a support group to stop buying them…my office is beginning to look like a hoarding case 😉 enjoyed the blog, as always 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Agata Cicha - I don’t like red wine, white ok as long as it’s very sweet like Moscato. Breastfeeding, I used to love it, now I’m stressing out even thinking about stopping because of what kind of nightmare I’m going to have to go through. How people do it anyway? Totally agree about brushing teeth… I don’t care about school supplies but I used to buy clothes at least 2 sizes smaller hoping I’ll loose weight someday. And picture frames, I have so many! But…. I’m going to start printing yours hahaha!ReplyCancel

  • Ashley - First I had no idea you were a blogger but now I’ll start reading your’s too because I’m sure it’s just as entertaining as Amber’s 😉

    Second how are you still breastfeeding?! I give you props! And I love white wine but it was definitely an acquired taste. I think reds taste like bloody meat…You should try moscato then you will be a lover! You’re definitely not alone thinking other pharmacists know more than you…I’m waiting on my tech to start her pharmacology class in a few weeks for a refresher…I think kids suck out our important knowledge.

    And lastly, Isla is absolutely adorable!ReplyCancel

  • Lisbeth Zuhr Jorgensen - I think this post just made my day. It was a rough day at the store tonight, I don’t know why I only had one tech from 6pm to close… we needed two (or 3) until at least 10pm.ReplyCancel

  • Confessions Part Two… » {the thomason diaries} - […] love breastfeeding. This may seem in direct opposition of what I stated only days ago here. But it’s not without it’s perks. It’s the cure to everything. Tantrums. Bumped […]ReplyCancel

  • Katherine Wilson - This list is hilarious! I feel like we would be friends if we lived near each other….the mermaid thing? I used to try and sing ‘part of your world’ under the water so my brother wouldn’t tease me. And I just finished feeding baby no 2 and they definitely don’t tell you that side of things in the breastfeeding info sessions. I’m back to pre-pubescent status. Except sadder. Pez 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Sylvie - This made my night! Thank you Jessica! I’m dying ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - Left out what numbers? I no understandReplyCancel

  • Amber Michele Shankland - Sorry for the confusion! That was a hash tag not a number sign! 😉ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - hahahahahahahha! yes you have to do that one! i have too many people I would offend!ReplyCancel

  • Amber Michele Shankland - Hagahahagaha I love that that’s all you said! I also love that I commented on your comment 4 seconds after you posted it! OMG. I’m getting really good at this scrolling and refreshing and judging!ReplyCancel

  • Maria Gernert Conover - I love that i’m such a good influence!!!ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - We all know you love wine @[50605964:2048:Maria].ReplyCancel