Confessions Part Two…

I’ll keep with the list format 🙂 Lazy.

  • I’m lazy. If there is a way to do something that requires less energy expenditure on my part, I’ll do it that way. Some might call that efficient. Resourceful? Nah, probably just lazy.
  • I love breastfeeding. This may seem in direct opposition of what I stated only days ago here. But it’s not without it’s perks. It’s the cure to everything. Tantrums. Bumped head. Busted lip on the coffee table 🙁 Easy fix! Plus it makes her happy and the sound of her crying breaks my heart so it’s a no brainer really. Bullet 1 and 2 may or may not have any correlation.
  • I don’t read to my toddler. Don’t get me wrong, I buy her lots of books. I always buy a book and think “This time will be different. She’ll curl up on my lap and soak in the story of The Hungry Caterpillar!” Nope. Anyone with a toddler knows this is not how the scene unfolds. And trust me, I was a huge advocate for reading to babies until I had a baby. It’s a physical impossibility.
  • I have driven to Starbucks for coffee in the morning before changing Isla’s diaper. What’s another 10 minutes? Plus I need at least one shot of espresso in my bloodstream to handle the ninja that is Isla having her diaper changed.
  • I am convinced that anyone and everyone is a serial killer. Everyone. No one is exempt. If one of my friends turned out to be a serial killer and a reporter said “Did you ever suspect?” I would totally be like “Yes, I always suspected. Always.” This neurosis developed sometime between the first and second trimester of pregnancy.
  • I’m currently obsessed with the song “Clarity” by Zedd feat. Foxes. Don’t know who Zedd is, or Foxes. Don’t care.
  • I believe that a roach has crawled into the bottom of any can of soda left unattended for more than 2 minutes. It’s a long story why I believe that but I’m sure you can use your imagination to figure out why I’d have such a phobia. 🙁
  • Even when a bathroom is easily accessible, I hold by pee until the last possible second.
  • I love that I can hear beach birds from the parking lot of the hospital where I work. It makes working on a holiday weekend not so bad.
  • I love Isla so much that it scares me a little.

That’s all I can think of for this installment!!! Plus I need to save some for next time!

12 comments
  • Amber Michele Shankland - So. You think I’m a serial killer?! And I’m jealous I don’t have breast feeding powers. I have no powers. 🙁ReplyCancel

  • Ashley - You need to write a breastfeeding book! I’ll be your PR manager while I’m managing Amber and her cooking show. Then we can all be retired pharmacists! 🙂 And I’m glad I’m not the only one doing the potty dance. I’m trying to teach Monica to hold it so we don’t have to go to nasty public restrooms.ReplyCancel

    • jessicathomason - That sounds like the best plan ever!!!!! Public bathrooms are why I’m in no hurry to potty train – eeeeek!ReplyCancel

  • Agata Cicha - Jessica I don’t think I could love you any more than I already Do! I’m so lazy! I should clean my house but I rather watch ‘Sex and the city” when Nathaniel is sleeping. I don’t read to my toddler and I also was all about reading. He is not capable of sitting still even for 2 minutes. I love breastfeeding but I would like to stop so I can have drinks without feeling guilty or worrying about him waking up. I don’t drink coffee, love it but doesn’t agree with my blood pressure but my husband has this beautiful Nespresso machine that makes delicious espresso for much less and you don’t have to drive to drink it. Just a suggestion:) Come over and try it:) I’m so afraid of serial killers! But I don’t suspect my friends:)ReplyCancel

  • Maria Gernert Conover - I read to Elyza but I read super fast and it’s only because I need to feel good about myself. so when I’m out with other mothers and they are chatting about reading to their babies and how amazing it is I can honestly say Oh yah I read to Elyza too and then I can dishonestly say she loves it, it calms her down soooo much!
    Ninja Isla! So I’m under suspicion? That’s not good.
    So my mom always wipes the counter filth into her hands and dumps it into the nearest available coffee mug, which one day happened to be mine. I asked her if she dumped her stuff into my cup and she said NO so I trustingly drank it all the way to the bottom where I gagged as whole bits of unknown food and what not started draining down my throat. Now if I set my cup down and leave and come back I dump it and get a fresh cup.
    I hold pee too! Like really hold it…hours many many hours.
    Did you take this picture? Of course you did…it’s freaking amazing. As in woah, I need this to be my picture.ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - Breastfeeding powers are a double edged sword as you clearly witnessed at Don Pablos! And I’m not saying your’e a serial killer, but I’m not saying you’re NOT a serial killer either.ReplyCancel

  • Agata Cicha - Amber I have no powers either!!!ReplyCancel

  • Amber Michele Shankland - OMG I just heard the Foxx song! I didn’t realize what song that was! I like it! I hope that was in this post. I can’t remember.ReplyCancel

  • Maria Gernert Conover - You’re good it was in this post!ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - You’re both so brilliant! It’s not easy keeping track! I kinda love that picture too but at the time I was just taking something real quick to check my exposure! I just got lucky with that one. That lady with matching green dress and bag made me feel really inferior though. I was probably wearing my green sweatpants that day.ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - I should probably use the Keurig I actually HAVE and actually love! But I think the baristas at Starbucks would feel bad so I must continue 😉 I only suspect my weird serial killerish friends so not you @[100004002571295:2048:Agata]!ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Thomason - Oh and the coffee cup thing?? Grossest thing EVER!ReplyCancel

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